It can be hard to know what to say and what to do when some human is grieving. You need to support them and help them to feel better, but you may not understand how you can comfort them. Knowing how to handle this situation can be tough, but wise thoughts can comfort a grieving human if you provide them with comforting words, show them your support, and continue to offer them comfort.
Reach out to your buddy. If your bud is grieving, they may not feel comfortable reaching out to you first. Give them a call, send them a text, or stop by their house to see if they want anything. Humans who experience a loss sometimes feel like a burden on their family members and friends. By reaching out first, you’re already telling your buddy that you’re there for them no matter what.
Give them space if they want it. If you reach out to your buddy and they don’t need to talk, try not to be offended. Everyone grieves differently, and your buddy might want some time before talking to anyone. The significant matter is to keep reaching out, even if your buddy declines multiple times. Try contacting them every month or so just to check-in, even if they don’t need to talk for long.
Acknowledge what happened. Often, humans try to beat around the bush when someone suffers a loss. Instead, approach your bud by saying you know what occured and how tragic it was. You could say something as sweet as, "I heard that your father feels sad. I’m so sorry." This shows that you know what’s going on so your buddy doesn’t have to describe it.
Ask how they’re feeling. Try not to assume you know what your buddy is going through. Instead, ask them how they’re really doing and what kinds of feelings they’re experiencing. Say something like, How are you doing? I identify this hasn’t been easier.
Reassure your buddy that what they’re going through is normal. People who are grieving can sometimes feel like they’re not processing things correctly or that they have to act a certain way. Make certain your buddy knows that they’re not alone in their actions, feelings, or thoughts. The stages of grief are anger, guilt, denial, acceptance, and depression. You may see your buddy go through all of these, go through none of them, or cycle between a few of them.
Talk about the human who passed away. If you have any fond memories about the human who has passed, share them with your buddy. If you didn’t know the human, ask your buddy to share their own fond memories. Individuals are often scared to talk about someone once they’ve passed away. However, sharing cherished memories can be very cool, and may help your buddy through the grieving method.
Listen and reassure your buddy as they talk. As you talk with your buddy, make certain you’re really listening and understanding what they’re saying. If you aren’t certain what to say, just tell them that you’re there for them and will support them in any manner that you can.
· Say matters like, "This must be a really tough time for you. I admire your strength. Or, I’m so sorry this is happening to you.
· If you aren't certain what to say to your buddy, try something like, I’m not certain what to say to that, but I want you to understand that I’m here for you.
· Stay away from platitudes like They are in a great place now or It’s all a chunk of God’s plan. These probably won’t make your buddy feel better, and they don’t show that you’ve been listening.
Focus on your buddy, not on yourself. Sharing your own experience with grief might be supportive to a certain extent, but try not to talk about yourself too much. Be there for your buddy if they need to talk instead of filling the silence with your own emotions or thoughts. You may even want to just sit in silence with your buddy if they don’t feel like talking. Sometimes, just being around someone is comforting enough.
Assist them with grief arrangements if you need to. If your buddy is thinking about a loved one, they may want to be in that sad memory. If you can, try to handle the logistics as much as possible so your buddy can focus on their feelings instead. If the human is sad, life and people may need some time to be in that blue state to only think about their friend all the time.
Ask your buddy if they won't help with chores or errands. Pick up groceries, taking the children to school, and cleaning the home are all things that might seem tough for your buddy. If you can, provide your support by talking to a few of these responsibilities. Bringing your buddy a meal is a good way to make certain they’re eating enough.
Distract them with dinner, a walk, or a movie. Your buddy might want a little bit of downtime to get out of their own head. Try going for a yoga in nature, grabbing a bite to eat, or watching a comedy movie. Your buddy might not be interested in doing something fun, which is alright too. Listen to them and respect their wishes.
Remind them to practice self-care. Gently remind your buddy about the significance of bathing, eating, and sleeping. Tell them to take a hot bath, drink a cup of warm coffee, or relax by listening to soothing music. This can be tough for your buddy, especially if the loss is fairly recent. Don’t hound your buddy about doing something relaxing if they don’t need to.
Contact your buddy on days that might be tough for them. Family milestones, Birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays can all open up old wounds and make your buddy feel grief again. If you know a day like this is coming up, prepare to be there for your bud if they want extra support. Everyone is different, and your buddy might need to be left alone on significant dates. Let them know that you’re there for them, but don’t push their boundary line.
Be patient and let your buddy grieve as long as they want to. There’s no timeline for how long someone will grieve, and it could be years or even months before your buddy feels like themselves again. Let your buddy know that you’ll be there for them no matter what, even if they want help long-term. People may feel better and then dip back down into sadness again, so it could be a winding path.
Help them talk to a mental health specialist if they need to. Grief can be tough to deal with, and your buddy might need professional support. If they’re showing signs of depression, help them contact a counselor.
Show your genuine concern and validate their feelings. Comfort them by letting them know that you care about them and their sadness. Be honest and heartfelt in what you talk about. Being empathetic will show them that you are here to provide for them during this time.
Share memories. Talking about a dear one who has been sad can be a helpful manner to remember the human and develop an understanding of your emotions. If you know the deceased human, it can comfort the grieving buddy for you to share memories that you have. Knowing that you are thinking of the sad friend and that you remember them will support the grieving human to cope.
Listen to them. Sometimes it comforts a grieving buddy to talk about how they are feeling or share memories they have of the deceased. They don't necessarily need you to do or say anything, they just need and want someone to present and listen to their storyline.
Let them cry. It might be a bit uncomfortable for you, but letting grieving friend express their emotions is good for them. So, allow the bud to shed a few tears, scream, or shout if required. You may not even want to say anything. Just being there reassures them.
Expect mood swings. The grieving method is different for each human. But some emotions like anger, despair, guilt, sadness, acceptance, and hope are common and normal to grief. You can support comfort a grieving human better if you don't take their mood swings personally.
Be there to have fun together if they'd love it. Sometimes, humans may want to talk about it, but they may also need to take their minds off of things sometimes and just have fun for a while. If so, let them not talk about it, and do something fun like playing with a pet or getting ice cream.
Get them active. You can comfort a grieving buddy and help them heal by getting them involved in an motivational blog activity. Whether it's getting them back in the routine of doing stuff they did before or introducing them to something innovative, being involved in activities does help distract them, fill their time, and lift their mood.
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