Your love, care should be more than an embrace of affection. It represents your safety and security. It should make your emotion truly loved.
They don’t pick holes in themselves. Emotionally secure humans don’t waste timeline beating upon themselves. They don’t pick. They’re pretty much aware they’re not perfect, and they work on getting better where they want to, but they go easier on themselves. They absorb who they are. Motivational quotes show themselves kindness when they have made an error. Then they do what they want to do: vow to do matters differently in the future, apologies, make amends— or let it go.
They don’t pick holes in you. When you are low on yourself they’ll be there with the kindness and reassurance you require to help you get up again. When they have something to say to you, they’ll say it with good intent and truthfully— and when they feel hurt by you or have a criticism, they will target your manners rather than your personality. Their verbal words are never an attack on Who You Are; they’re about what you’ve done AND they come from a loving, stable base.
They don’t love, honor and obey all emotion. Emotionally secure people are better able to regulate their feelings, quiet themselves down when heated, or pick or anxious themselves up when they’ve been emotion low. They embrace their feelings — from anger, sadness, and fear to peace, joy, and excitement— as they understand it’s healthy. They can acknowledge and express tough feelings but they don’t get gridlocked by them; they are able to move progressively when the time is right.
As loved ones, they don’t let their feelings dictate their actions and thoughts. They don’t behave or speak impulsively in ways that undermine you or the relationship. Their emotional stability signifies they are able to assess circumstances (or conflict) accurately which covers you both to come up with a healthy solution.
They don’t go silent, stonewall, or hold grudges. Emotionally secure human fight fair. When you get into conflict, they don’t dish out the silent treatment, go to the ground or leave you or storm out guessing as to what’s going on for them. This doesn’t denote they are always able to surface fights in the moment — they may want time to process what has happened. But they’ll talk to you about what they really want. And when they surface, they’ll be reasonable and fair — and up for hearing what you have to talk.
They are not fixed on one world view. Emotionally secure partners are not “my way or the highway” human beings. They don’t always have to be fair or have the last word. They can let you be virtuous. They realize that humans are different in so many ways, that there are many layers and lenses through which we can see the ocean. This makes them wise listeners and able to identify your perspective, even when they don’t much agree with it.
They are not victims of life’s circumstances. Emotionally secure humans tend to operate with an internal locus of control, meaning they are better equipped to take responsibility for the matters in life they can control. When they succeed, they will attribute it to internal factors, such as commitment, hard work, or ability, matters they can own. This signifies they are less vulnerable when things go false way as they won’t slip into a cycle of self-pity. When situations are genuinely frictional, they can accurately realize those things they couldn’t control and, therefore, not be brought to their knees by them.
They share their emotional strength. Emotionally secure people are pretty generous with their strength and stability. They are supportive and patient when you’re feeling upset, struggling (or just being a bit dumb). But they won’t permit a loved one to dictate their happiness and moods. If your problems become too much for them, or unreasonable, they won’t just run away — they will talk to you in-depth about it. And if you listen to their views and continue to work on constructing your own emotional strength, you will gain their love as well as their respect.
Home is an emotional state, a place in the imagination where emotions of belonging, security, family, placement, protection, personal history, and memory abide.