False Assumptions are the termites of good relationships.

When you dive into past memory ladder is more than the present. Do you replay the cheerful moments of the relationship to make you feel better about it? Do you use them as a purpose to continue on with her/him? If so, it’s a sign your present relationship is not how you need it to be. The more we live in the past tense and/or a self-developed future, the more we are diving into a self-generated reality. This is frictional as it’s not the reflection of the real state of the relationship. Remember your inspirational quotes of life relationship with the other human exists in the present moment. Not in the past. Past memories must remain as memories and not as a right flow to stay together. Your resolution on whether to stay with the other human must be based on your present emotions for her/him, the real-time state of the relationship, and the future you see with her/him.

When the relationship brings you more suffering than fun. Sometimes, we tend to be blindfold by the past delightful moments of the relationship. To the extent we fail to remember all the unhappiness, it brings us. If your relationship leaves you unhappy /blue/frustrated more often than not; If your relationship is leaving you in pain every so often, perhaps this probably not be the right human for you. The relationship you are in at present must be one which brings you fun now. if the main source of the delight of the relationship is from past setup, something is amiss.

When she/he expects you to change. The purest form of divine love is one that is unconditional. Your loved one must not expect you to change unless it’s for your well-being (such as to adopt a healthier diet or to quit drinking). Some of my buds had ex-boyfriends who required them to change, such as to dress up more often to look pretty or to lose weight when said buddy was of healthy weight.

When you stay on, expecting she/he will change. The above applies to the other human as much as it applies to you. If you are staying on / getting into the relationship expecting the human to change, you are in this for a false reason. You are attempting to change the human to fit your expectations, rather than accept her/him as the individual she/he is. Even if the human does change, soon you will have something else you require her/him to change. You will never be completely satisfied with how she/he is. The rough thing is, if the other human isn’t conscious, she/he will keep altering just to fit your expectations. In the end, she/he will just end up being the shadow of yours.

When you keep on justifying her/his actions to yourself. Whenever we meet a circumstance we’re uncomfortable about, we undergo cognitive dissonance. It refers to the discomfort from being faced with something that battles against our faith system. When this occurs, we tried to come up with justifications, explanations so we do feel great about the situation. This if we feel the requirement to justify an action, that denotes we are pretty uncomfortable with the action itself and we require to explain away the discomfort. The hazard behind this is that the explanations are self-created and may or may not be true. If you are continuously justifying her/his actions, the relationship becomes constructed on your rationalizations, rather than reality. The likelihood is that you are diving into your universe of false aroma rather than reality.

When she/he is causing you emotional /verbal hurt. Verbal and Physical abuse is definitely NO thing. There is plainly something wrong if the other side curses/ abuses/ swears /hits at you, no matter how she/he tries to make up for it later. Even if it may be the incentive of the moment, the motivational quotes of life fact that she/he lets slip at that moment denote there is something deep inside her/him that wants addressing. Emotional hurt is trickier. A lot of people avoid emotional hurt as it’s not visible. Ignore it, and it’s not there. But emotional hurt is painful all the same, if not worse. The harm that is difficult to heal is the emotional ones.

Too often we miscalculate the power of delight, a humble word, a smile, a good listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of love and care, all of which have the capacity to turn a life around.  

When the same issue/circumstance recurs even though you try addressing it. Once might be a coincidence. Twice, you might need to give yourself another chance. But few more times is a clear sign something is definitely wrong. You actually identify nothing fruitful was coming out from the relationship between loop played out the third time. Each time, you give your best what you could to make it work out, but it always stopped at the same layer. It was more than enough answer that this was the final end. Do you keep landing in the same circumstance, the same outcome, the same scenario, time and again, no matter what you do? If so, perhaps you want to welcome this is the furthest the relationship can get to. You just keep pressing on, but it’s a matter of time before it dissolves in that there’s nothing further to go. This is the end of the lane. There is a future for you and her /him, and this relationship is not the right path to that future.

When he/she puts tiny to no effort into the relationship. Every relationship wants effort from the duo. The same principle applies to friendships, familial bonds, mentorships, and most definitely care. Both the party supposed to commit to the relationship together. If you are continuously the one putting in more effort, sooner than later it’ll drain you. You have to give your best shot just to keep the relationship afloat. Unless some sought of non-balance is addressed and it will only become huger and larger over time. Soon you dissolve your whole self into it, lost your self-identity in the procedure.

When your fundamental faiths and values differ. For any relationship or friendship to really work out, there has to be some good similarity in fundamental faith. The similarity in these values is the great mountains that will hold the friendship in place. Even if other matters are dissimilar, the big valleys will process the friendship to climate through even the difficult storms ahead.  
On the other side, if your core faith and values are fundamentally different, it doesn’t matter even if everything else is the same. The pathway to keep the relationship together will only become an uphill conflict. It’s just like attempting to hold the soil of the ground level together in heavy rainfall. Without the stems and roots of the tree to hold the soil together, everything will just go away against your good efforts.

When the relationship goal holds you back, as preventing both of you from progressing as individuals. A relationship is ultimately a sacred thing formed due to two human figures. Every relationship evolves based on how both sides are progressing. Sometimes both sides progress at the same pace. There are times where the relationship is inactive, where both sides don’t progress. Then there are times when one outperforms the other, by a huge margin.  
When this occurs, you have two options as changing the motion of the relationship to fit new development or change yourself to balance the same motion. It’s more significant to first be true to ourselves. Determine who you want to be and who you are, then decide if this relationship is one that is in tune with you. A relationship that blocks you from progressing into your own is not the best one for you.

When you stay on, expecting matters to get better. Just like how you don’t dive in the past, you don’t dive in the future. You just hope that the future will be great, but the fact is you live now. If the only matter that’s making you hold on is the desire and wish for a better future, the relationship isn’t plainly built on solid grounds. The future you hope for is one of the many possibilities that can happen, a possibility that probably never come to reality. It’s tough to base the destiny of the relationship on something that might not happen.

When neither of you feels the same thing about each other. Things change. Human change. If the emotions are no longer there, it’s time to move on. Some of you might remain on in a relationship even though the emotions are dissolved. Perhaps it has become part of your life and you don’t understand what to do once you break away. Some of you continue on because love smile quotes lead to a relationship that still serves certain functional meaning, such as companionship.