How to Comfort Someone When There is Nothing You Can Offer except Solace
Who do you turn to when matters go wrong? Your buds can offer a good sense of comfort and support, especially when you’re feeling sad. Knowing exactly how to comfort your buddy and what to say isn’t always easier, and you might be feeling a tiny tongue-tied. Fortunately, it's possible to comfort a bud and help them feel good without things being uncomfortable. Keep reading to learn all kinds of various ways you can comfort someone when they're feeling blue and learn life lessons.
Offering Solace in Person
Give a hug, if that’s alright. Touch is a universal language and the very foremost one for humans. If a loved one is going through a rough time, give your touch and offer this person a big hug. It may sound simple but for someone who is distressed, sad, or blue, warm touch might be soothing and even calms cardiovascular stress. As a result of a lowered stress response, a study shows that hugging your buddy can lessen her susceptibility to sickness.
· Ask first to be certain hugging is an appropriate manner to comfort your buddy; some humans do not like such physical gestures.
· Hold your buddy close and rub her back. If he cries, let him cry into you.
Encourage the human to express emotion. If you observe that your loved one seems to be trying tough to hold back what she is feeling, tell her it’s alright to show emotion. Many humans feel guilty about expressing false emotions. Tell your buddy that you need her to feel whatever she’s feeling and that you won’t judge her for it.
· Say something like "It looks like you are having a tough time at present, and I need you to identify that I'm here to understand if you want to vent" or "If you want to cry, you go right ahead".
· Psychologists insist that experiencing false emotions is just as significant as feeling positive states. Negative emotions teach us so much about the natural ups and downs of the life cycle. Therefore, expressing negative emotions, as opposed to suppressing them, can be instrumental to entire mental health.
Offer to spend time doing whatever. Your buddy may need to lounge around all day watching reality Television or thumbing through gossip magazines. Your buddy may want to talk about what’s bothering her, or she may need to talk about everything but that. She may want to go grocery, or simply take a nap. Plot out some hours of distraction-free time to focus completely on your hurting friend.
· Don’t come with a clear agenda; just be present. Your buddy may not feel up to doing anything or may feel overwhelmed about making any decisions. But, it's smart to have certain ideas ready in case he wants to do something.
Bring over a pick-me-up. If you identify a certain matter that tends to bring a smile to someone's face, bring it to cheer him up. Understand that he might not feel any better because of this, but he will recognize that you are trying to make him feel good and likely appreciate the gesture.
Be helpful. If your buddy is sad, he may not have had the energy to tidy up the house, pick up groceries, or take her pet out for a walk. Step forward to complete errands or chores like these, and you could eliminate additional stress for someone. In addition, think practically and bring necessities that your buddy and/or family probably need during this time of need.
Offering Solace From Afar
Reach out. Call your buddy and express your sorrow for what she’s going through. Don’t get upset if your buddy does not instantly return the call. He may not feel up to discussion or may have to comfort his own share of people. He will get back to you when he wants. In the meantime, just extend your best wishes in a voicemail message.
Offer to check in. Oftentimes, when humans are in a blue mood, everyone states "call me if you want me". This human may feel like she is a burden if she calls you, and, therefore, she never calls. A better technique is to be clear about when you will call so that she knows she can count on your solace.
Practice reflective listening. Sometimes all humans need is to feel like someone's listening motivational blogs to them. Give the gift of listening to your buddy. Truly take in what she is saying – tone of words, voice, and what isn’t being said. Focus and don't let your brain wander off. Ask refined questions during pauses to show you are following along the way.
Avoid Being Offensive
Don’t pretend you understand. Recognize that different humans react to life situations pretty differently. Even if you have been through the same situation as your buddy, ignore saying something like "Oh, it won’t feel so rough after a while. Show empathy instead.
Keep your advice to yourself. When we see humans who love hurting, a common reaction is to rush to explore a solution. However, in some manners, the only factors that can lessen the pain are hope or time. Yes, you may feel powerless about not being able to give certain practical help to your buddy, but he will appreciate your presence much more than your advice.
Swallow your empty clichés. During tough times, humans resort to unhelpful platitudes that give no comfort but only make the circumstances worst. Ignore these unsupportive, straight-from-greeting-cards comments.
· Everything occurs for a reason
· Time heals all wounds
· It was meant to be
· It could be the worst
· What’s done is done
· The more matters change, the more they stay the same
Try not to assume you understand what’s going through their head. If they just went through something blue, they might be feeling hurt, sad, angry, or even uncomfortable. Ask your buddy to open up to you about their emotions so you can identify them a little better.
Show your buddy that you care by expressing your feelings. Let your buddy know that you’re sorry about their circumstance. Hearing someone’s concern might make your buddy feel better, and it will show that you need the best for them. Even a simple, "I’m sorry that you’re going through this," might bring them a sense of inner calmness.
It can be helpful to tell someone to whom you relate. Try bringing up a rough time that you went through recently, and share just how tough it was for you. You don’t need to spend a ton of time to your own story (since that can make it seem like you aren’t listening to your buddy), but bringing it up briefly could be comforting.
Your buddy might not feel better after one day. If you have to head home or you aren’t going to see them again for a little while, try an effort to call, message, or hang out with them often. Remind them that you’re there for them, and see if they want any help as they begin to feel better.
Tell your friend to do one nice thing for themselves today. It can be something tiny, like drinking a cup of tea or putting on a soothing face mask. Whatever it is, a tiny act of self-care is certain to make them feel good, if only for a little while.
Ask your buddy if they want help with groceries or chores. If your buddy is super sad, they probably do not have the energy to go do matters that they normally would, like cleaning the house or shopping. If you have time, ask your buddy if they want any assistance, then run an errand or do certain chores for them.
Cheer your buddy up with a game night or a movie. If your buddy doesn’t feel like going anywhere, head to their place and watch something on Amazon or play some board games. Simply having your company probably be enough to make them feel good!
Enjoy a nice meal with someone to make certain they’re eating. When you’re blue mood, it’s easy to forget things, like eating lunch. Head over to your buddy's house and cook them up something delicious, like pasta, burger, or French fries. Then, enjoy each other’s company and talk, or simply way sit in silence as you eat.
A dessert or a coffee might be just the pick-me-up they want. If you’re on your way to your buddy's house, stop by a local store and pick them up something joy, then bring it with you. Hopefully, a cute surprise will cheer your buddy up, if only a little bit.
Pick a message that will make them smile or laugh. If you can’t see your buddy in person that day, try sending him a cute animal photo or a goofy meme. Or, shoot them a message telling them how much they mean to you and how good of a bud they are. Hopefully, it will support them to feel just a tiny bit better and providing them peace of mind.
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