How to Stop Looking for Happiness in Others and Learn to Create It Yourself
Never put the key foundation of your happiness in someone else’s pocket.
Test yourself. Look within yourself to check if you are becoming emotionally dependent. Love smile quotes lead to ask yourself: are you looking for a loved one as a way to make yourself happy? Does it upset you if your loved one doesn’t act or respond in a certain way? Is your relationship the center of your universe? Do you complain about others a lot? Does your life fall apart when you and your loved one don’t do matters together? If your answer is true to several of these questions, it may be a hint that you are overly dependent on your relationship for happiness. It doesn’t designate you’re the wrong person but could be an indication that you are in need of change.
Begin looking for happiness within inside you. We are often conditioned to seek happiness in matters that surround us. The answer lies in realizing that humans are not things to satisfy our voids. Their job is not to make us happy – they are probably struggling just as tough themselves.
GET COMFORTABLE BEING ON YOUR OWN. Just sit and listen to your thoughts. If you can’t love yourself, you can’t love someone else they say and for a reason – it’s a pure truth.
Develop creating AND discover your potential. It’s not uncommon for humans to hide in the relationship, afraid of really giving their all and attaining their potential. The key is to break this cycle and start an activity – start creating music, work on your fitness level, and join a cooking class. Any activity that draws creativity from you and teaches you about yourself can cover you. Once you dive into inexperience of the joy of doing something really well and grasping from your mistakes, you will be less prone to depending on others to fulfill you.
COMPLAIN LESS. Identify the moment when you jump into that cry mode and stop yourself right away. Instead of concentrating on the negative, drill yourself to draw your attention to the positive. Soon enough you will rewire your thought structure and bear the burden of complaining a lot less.
STOP BEING NEEDY. Also, identify the moment when you are being needy with your loved one. Become aware of how this structure or pattern repeats and then train yourself to break it the next time. Don’t give up if it doesn’t happen right away, the foundation lies in persistence.
ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY. Accept that you alone have the power and responsibility to affect how happy you feel. Go a step forward and don’t just accept it, celebrate in it and see it as a gift that is always available to you, no matter what circumstance you discover yourself in.
Permit some quality alone time for yourself. Introverts thrive on alone time, while extroverts are more naturally comfortable pretty much surrounded by others. Regardless of what you identify as everyone can profit from a slight recharge from time to time. Our brains are racing as we constantly think of our next move or stress about potential roadblocks along the way. It doesn't matter if you decide to get lost in a novel or turn up your favorite music and drown out the world. Just permit some time to disengage from everything and everyone else. Just concentrate on yourself.
Identify when your actions have become a chance on another's opinion. Getting advice is one thing; completely altering your life aims and common perception based on someone else's thoughts is another. When we become fascinated by another human, it's pretty natural to move towards following a path similar to his or hers. Take input with a grain of salt and don't lose sight of the big picture frame.
There are so many ways to find and seek pleasure, but only one way to search and gain happiness; which is through your mind.
Take responsibility for your own happiness. Motivational quotes make it necessary to practice emotional self-reliance. When that go-to person is out of reach, we begin to realize how dependent we've become on him or her. This realization can be initially scary, but you're not screwed. Yet. Experiment with various ways to mitigate those negative emotions yourself, and eventually, you'll explore out what works best. It will take practice, but understanding you are capable of calming yourself down on your own will be an empowering emotion. You'll feel independent and more in control.
It takes time, but eventually, we all grasp the only human who can ultimately put the pieces back together is you.
Hope for someone else to make me happy is objectifying them. In a sense, my friend was a tool for my happiness. I had placed an enormous amount of pressure on him to perfectly handle all my problems and supply all the matters and things that were missing in my ocean.
But only I have the right toolbox that can fix what is not in motion. My friend is not a tool. He is a whole person with his own emotions, goals, struggles, dreams, and hopes. Reducing him to a tool for my happiness is objectification, and it limits the progress and deepening of our relationship.
It is unfair to expect someone to help you become a complete human. More significantly, we already have everything we require within us to live our best life; we do not have to look outside ourselves or to anyone else.
You cannot wait around for anyone else to bring happiness and excitement to your life. I have to go out there and develop it! I also cannot expect one human alone to take my loneliness away.
I alone am responsible for my excitement and happiness in life. There were so many times when I would count on my friend to come to pick me up, take me out, or invite me to a fun evening. If this did not happen, I would feel angry and unhappy. But really, I should never depend on someone else to bring me happiness, excitement, or joy. That is my own responsibility!
I eventually realized that instead of dependent on my friend to fill a void in my planet, I had to begin taking accountability and doing it for myself.
From then onward, I have started reconnecting with old buddies and going out more. I said yes to various activities and invitations. Creative events like painting, spoken word, and concerts make me happier, so I now make a point to do these matters with or without my friend.
Having my own buds outside of my loving relationship—my own plans, and my own interests—keeps me feeling complete. It also reminds me that I have to take charge of my day, my social life, and my emotions.
I began outside of the overly introverted bubble and getting out of my comfort zone that kept me so lonely all the time. Now that I have reconnected with and strengthened my relationship with my own circle of buds, I no longer put pressure on my friend.
I now understand that even if he has to cancel plans or she chose to hang out with another buddy, it does not break or make my day. I have my own support group and circle of buddies to hang out with, and I can bring fun, joy, excitement to my own life.
You can reclaim your power. If you’re like me, you might be in the habit of placing your power in other people's hands. You probably think thoughts along the lines of:
If she doesn’t text me today, I’m going to be crushed
If they don’t invite me to the evening party on Saturday, my night will be ruined!
I used to say these kinds of matters often, and still have to battle against this kind of thinking. In all of these affirmations, I am letting someone else’s actions control my own happiness and thought. I am letting the actions of others impact what I pick to do. Oftentimes, if my friend and I went the day without talking, I would let it ruin my whole day. I didn’t even attempt to explore things that I liked to do to spice up my day, or hang out with friends, or do something pretty exciting. I permitted his actions to control me. I gave up my power to him.
I would also dependent on my friend to go to various events with me. If he was not able to make it because of his job, I wouldn’t go at all. Then, because I felt like I had missed out, I would be disappointed and mad with him.
That is release out my power into his hands. Now, even though I can be pretty quiet and sometimes nervous about new social circumstances, I will make a point to still go to an event even if my friends cannot make it.
Do you put your own power in other human hands? Will someone canceling plans or doing something unexpected ruins your day, or will you empower yourself to develop your own happiness? Inspirational blogs do not permit the actions of others to control your actions or emotions. Reclaim your power.
Karma Writer at billion things to do:
Karma is an influencing content writer who can motivate you to become an optimistic personality in life. So much of passion and inspiration you will find in the writings, especially in the fictional articles.
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